Okay so recently i've come across some very interestng people, mainly guyz who told me that they would want their wives to basically be their maids in the house. They want them to clean, cook and not only do they want the house to clean etc. but they also want their wives to clean after them as well according to them they won't even pick up their plate and put it in the kitchen after eating dinner. i wanted to know how girls feel about these bucharian theories and traditions.

Okay so recently i've come across some very interestng people, mainly guyz who told me that they would want their wives to basically be their maids in the house. They want them to clean, cook and not only do they want the house to clean etc. but they also want their wives to clean after them as well according to them they won't even pick up their plate and put it in the kitchen after eating dinner. i wanted to know how girls feel about these bucharian theories and traditions.

In a marriage there shouldn't be a "mine and yours", its a partnership. When one is sick, for example, the other takes care of things while the other gets better etc.

If its 2 of you having dinner, the only thing that will be needed to clean is 2 or 3 plates, which isn't a big deal, compared to when kids get into picture.. Once its a bigger family, a husband should definelty help out with such chores.

I personally would not mind cooking with my wife, since I can learn to like it. Cleaning the table is fine, loading dishwasher is no biggy.

And I won't mention any names, but I wonder what some guys would think about girls who don't even make their beds in the morning after waking up? Bad bad sign of lack of cleanliness.. Can you imagine what your home woud look like and how your kids would be raised? Its usually the guys who are slobs and would change thanks to their wives..

Okay so recently i've come across some very interestng people, mainly guyz who told me that they would want their wives to basically be their maids in the house. They want them to clean, cook and not only do they want the house to clean etc. but they also want their wives to clean after them as well according to them they won't even pick up their plate and put it in the kitchen after eating dinner. i wanted to know how girls feel about these bucharian theories and traditions.

If a husband and wife will not work together and if they do love eachother they should work and compremise everything with themselves together or else, the relationship guaranteed will not work, however this days more girls are so much busy with colleges and work part/full time that they have no time to come home and do house chores, I strongly argue that it' isnt our foult it's the society made us that way, we should always work and help out our own families but i myself do not believe that that our wifes should be maids in the house, howevever there should be some knowledge to provide food on the table know how to cook.

What a big deal. In a marriage, as many someone mentioned, you should be as a team. As bukharians say,qarsaq az du dast meberoyad. :happy05:

Okay so recently i've come across some very interestng people, mainly guyz who told me that they would want their wives to basically be their maids in the house. They want them to clean, cook and not only do they want the house to clean etc. but they also want their wives to clean after them as well according to them they won't even pick up their plate and put it in the kitchen after eating dinner. i wanted to know how girls feel about these bucharian theories and traditions.

What's wrong with wifes being maids? ;)

it's like saying why should man work? why should the husband provide the financial needs to the family? so the girls could just do absolutely nothing in this world?
if it's a relationship with husband and a wife work together or else why live together?

it's like saying why should man work? why should the husband provide the financial needs to the family? so the girls could just do absolutely nothing in this world?
if it's a relationship with husband and a wife work together or else why live together?

Imagine your 26 or 27 and married a spoiled 18 year old student. You work like a dog, and you come home and she complains and whines for you to clean after yourself every minute.. G-d forbid. I don't mind supporting a young student, aslong as she is not the spoiled lazy type..

it's like saying why should man work? why should the husband provide the financial needs to the family? so the girls could just do absolutely nothing in this world?
if it's a relationship with husband and a wife work together or else why live together?

Actually at my job i have an agent and he's married, he and his wife work at the same place and do the same exact job, they go to work together and home come together. They recieve the same amount of money etc. and when i asked him whether he helps around the house he said no thats the wife's job. So basically "it's a 90, 10 relationship" as he so nicely put it. A marriage is a parntership (so i think, never been married) and it's a give and take if ur wife asks you to do something then be respectful and do it and vice versa. It's not even that...it's just showing ur wife u care and u give a crap so she won't feel like u belittle her. And she's not ur maid even if she does nothing doesn't mean that she has to do everything around the house becuz ur job ends at 5 and hers NEVER ends so help out.

i think it's very interesting that only the guys responded to this thread and none of the grls

Mothers instinct is responsible for a lot of women’s behavior. Its not that the men asks his wife to clean or cook, she doesn't on her own because of mothers instinct.

Actually at my job i have an agent and he's married, he and his wife work at the same place and do the same exact job, they go to work together and home come together. They recieve the same amount of money etc. and when i asked him whether he helps around the house he said no thats the wife's job. So basically "it's a 90, 10 relationship" as he so nicely put it. A marriage is a parntership (so i think, never been married) and it's a give and take if ur wife asks you to do something then be respectful and do it and vice versa. It's not even that...it's just showing ur wife u care and u give a crap so she won't feel like u belittle her. And she's not ur maid even if she does nothing doesn't mean that she has to do everything around the house becuz ur job ends at 5 and hers NEVER ends so help out.

I agree with you...At some point, there has to be a compromise made. I also believe that the first step to this is to take away the labels that something is a man's job, and something else is a woman's job, and then work together from this point.

I still don't know what's wrong with wifes being maids???? ;)

Is this why Bukharian girls don't want to go out with Bukharian guys.

"Mother's instinct" if a grl is 18,19,20,21 i can surely tell you that she WON'T have any motherly instincts. i'm not saying that a woman shouldn't do things around the house. i'm just saying that the man should do things as well and that chores around the house ISN'T a "woman's job."

basically the main point of this discussion is that a man n his wife should have a deal...if a woman is feeling like a maid (which is not the way she should feel) then she has to tell her husband to help out...n if he is the guy that she married for good reasons then there shouldnt be a problem of him helpin this wife out
thats wat u call love, baby

:happy65:

Dudette you are absolutely right, but you have to establish the rulers in begin of the relationship. Please don't get mad.

Dudette you are absolutely right, but you have to establish the rulers in begin of the relationship. Please don't get mad.

Some girls will tell a guy everything he wants to hear before marriage just to nail him. Even if all the "rules" have been discussed. When the deal is done, she might say "sweety, rules were made to be broken" :D. Then what?

Some girls will tell a guy everything he wants to hear before marriage just to nail him.


I thought it was just the opposite. Guys tell girls everything she wants to hear before marriage just to nail her.

I thought it was just the opposite. Guys tell girls everything she wants to hear before marriage just to nail her.

Not if the guy is a very good catch ;).

What do you consider a good catch? when was the last time you met a "good catch" guy?

What do you consider a good catch? when was the last time you met a "good catch" guy?

Hmm i don't know, maybe cause I AM A GUY?? ;). I know they exist. I actually think we're in deficit of good catch girls.. They tend to always be on the extremes ends. Hard t ofind a balance of beauty and brains plus decency....

Hmm i don't know, maybe cause I AM A GUY?? ;). I know they exist. I actually think we're in deficit of good catch girls.. They tend to always be on the extremes ends. Hard t ofind a balance of beauty and brains plus decency....
Executive do u believe to be a "good catch?" Do you think some grl would tell u everything u wanna hear then after the marriage change things on you?

Executive do u believe to be a "good catch?" Do you think some grl would tell u everything u wanna hear then after the marriage change things on you?

No I don't think I'm a "good catch". Although I had my good days in the past, things in life change day to day, month to month year to year. Thats life. But I know its possible for guys to be good catches.

Yea there are girls that for one reason or another fall in love with a particular guy and stubbornly will do anything in their power to get him. Even if it means deceiving him. Some girls are really great at acting, but many times the other side pops up :).

i'm sry but i find this statement to be stupid, men have hands if they eat something put it in the freaking kitchen i'm not asking you to wash the stupid plate but doing a lil thing like putting in the freaking kitchen says something to the grl/woman. It's not about not have a motherly instinct to clean and take care of her family, it's about feeling like some one cares and loves you enuff to help. Don't you GET IT?!?!? Screw the dishes and cleaning the house... Ever hear the saying actions speak louder then words????? you telling ur wife u love her means shit, when she asks you to do something or when she's tired and you see it and u help her w/ the things she's doing..THAT WILL SHOW U LOVE HER!!!!

Tz Tz Tz, Зачем так нервы на нас тратить? Скажу честно, так обзываться не надо. Мы все здесь интелигентные люди...всё понимаем с полслова!!!

Tz Tz Tz, Зачем так нервы на нас тратить? Скажу честно, так обзываться не надо. Мы все здесь интелигентные люди...всё понимаем с полслова!!!

PA, I can assure you, she can't read in Russian ;). So please, translate your reply for the sweet young lady. :innocen:

NO russian, please

NO russian, please

Tell me about it.. Even though I read very well, thats one of the reasons I stopped participating on bjews.com. I can't write in Russian.

FriendlyPA do translate plz

Tz Tz Tz, Зачем так нервы на нас тратить? Скажу честно, так обзываться не надо. Мы все здесь интелигентные люди...всё понимаем с полслова!!!

OK OK...I'll try to translate...All I was saying was why bother wasting your nerve cells on us. To be honest, there is no need for the wonderful profanities you used in your post. We're all inteligent people, and can surely understand you if you speak nicely.

Dudette you never answered my question. what do you consider a
"good catch".

Tz Tz Tz, Зачем так нервы на нас тратить? Скажу честно, так обзываться не надо. Мы все здесь интелигентные люди...всё понимаем с полслова!!!

OK OK...I'll try to translate...All I was saying was why bother wasting your nerve cells on us. To be honest, there is no need for the wonderful profanities you used in your post. We're all inteligent people, and can surely understand you if you speak nicely.
i never used any profanities in my posts it's just hard and frustrating for me to understand how one human being (males) can believe that a women's place in this world is to clean, cook etc. I mean isn't this the 21th Century? Aren't we living in the U.S. not buchara or w/ezz. I think that when men start treating women w/ some respect and stop labeling their duties in life we'll all be a lot happier in life. So if i offended any1 i do apologize but once again it's extremly frustrating to hear that men actually still feel the way do toward women. I mean in my house every1 is treated w/ respect regardless of their sex to it's kind of a reality check when i hear these things from males. And i completely don't understand why a male feels like his wife who's going to have his kids would want to treat her like a maid instead of his life parnter.

i consider a "good catch" to be a guy who treats women with respect, are honest, well mannered, intelligent, have goals, family orinented, some 1 who's interesting to talk w/, good looking... that's all i can think of right now

Have you ever met anyone who fit that description?

i never used any profanities in my posts it's just hard and frustrating for me to understand how one human being (males) can believe that a women's place in this world is to clean, cook etc. I mean isn't this the 21th Century? Aren't we living in the U.S. not buchara or w/ezz. I think that when men start treating women w/ some respect and stop labeling their duties in life we'll all be a lot happier in life. So if i offended any1 i do apologize but once again it's extremly frustrating to hear that men actually still feel the way do toward women. I mean in my house every1 is treated w/ respect regardless of their sex to it's kind of a reality check when i hear these things from males. And i completely don't understand why a male feels like his wife who's going to have his kids would want to treat her like a maid instead of his life parnter.

OK I understand...I realize that this is frustrating, but I think what's important to realize here for you is not to get frustrated by every person's response here. People have opinions. Some people's opinions may sometimes differ from yours and that's perfectly OK. I think what's not OK is that 1 person gets to be hurt in the process (like a woman or a man in a relationship). If that happens, then we can discuss these individual families here if you like. But it's not right to make generalizations, and say that in every family (or even most) women are treated as maids. I think you even brought up a good example of your own family, where this is not the case. I think (and I hope that I'm right), that there are many more families like yours, rather than the opposite.

lol tricky question ummm i guess i have one being in this web site...not gonna name any names cough:check out my profile:cough lol

?????

[QUOTE=MadisonBoy]?????[/
nevermind

Can you please elaborate?

Honestly speaking this is one of the reason i don't want a buchi, i think they have control issue (my opinion) they wanna feel like "THE MAN" and have their wives hand and foot on them. Honestly speaking how would u feel if the roles were reversed?

I think in some families the roles ARE reversed. Whether that's right or wrong is another topic for discussion. You can open a new thread for that!!!! ;)

Honestly speaking this is one of the reason i don't want a buchi, i think they have control issue (my opinion) they wanna feel like "THE MAN" and have their wives hand and foot on them. Honestly speaking how would u feel if the roles were reversed?

Well unfortunately thats a huge "IF" sweety.. You know that saying: "If my granny had ballz she'd be my grand-daddy"?. It makes more sense in Russian, but anyway. Your question is similar to wishing men would go thru pregnancy, we simply don't :). You can't escape the fact that you are NOT a MALE. And you should get in touch with your true feminine side and come to realize that you, as a female will eventually be a wife and mother... Women, by nature usually have a sense or nurturing for those they care about, and not usually selfsh.. Your views seem to have a touch of selfishness to them.. Or maybe its laziness?? :D

Well unfortunately thats a huge "IF" sweety.. You know that saying: "If my granny had ballz she'd be my grand-daddy"?. It makes more sense in Russian, but anyway. Your question is similar to wishing men would go thru pregnancy, we simply don't :). You can't escape the fact that you are NOT a MALE. And you should get in touch with your true feminine side and come to realize that you, as a female will eventually be a wife and mother... Women, by nature usually have a sense or nurturing for those they care about, and not usually selfsh.. Your views seem to have a touch of selfishness to them.. Or maybe its laziness?? :D

I agree. :party29:

I want to start a new thread "Bucharian girls and their mentality".

I want to start a new thread "Bucharian girls and their mentality".

Now we're talkin! :party29:

I know, that's a perfect topic. :party29:

No I don't think I'm a "good catch". Although I had my good days in the past, things in life change day to day, month to month year to year. Thats life. But I know its possible for guys to be good catches.

Yea there are girls that for one reason or another fall in love with a particular guy and stubbornly will do anything in their power to get him. Even if it means deceiving him. Some girls are really great at acting, but many times the other side pops up :).
I completly agree with you!!! I know several girls that literally played a part while getting a guy. I have to admit, the guys they were going after were really a "good catch," but seeing all that theater was just sickening.
Guys are not too far from it either, many just say what the girl wants to hear (relying on her crap-detector being off) and then completely change.

Okay so recently i've come across some very interestng people, mainly guyz who told me that they would want their wives to basically be their maids in the house. They want them to clean, cook and not only do they want the house to clean etc. but they also want their wives to clean after them as well according to them they won't even pick up their plate and put it in the kitchen after eating dinner. i wanted to know how girls feel about these bucharian theories and traditions.
Im my opinion (being a girl :)), marriage should be a duet, where one side complimets the other. Kitchen wise - a girl should really be responsible for it, I personally would not mind if my future husband would cook something once in a while or help with some chores, but I would not want to see him in my kitchen 24-7. I am all for helping out, no one should feel taken advantage off in a relationship, becuase then it would not be called a relationship but a parasitic habitat.

This what i cannot stand for the most part in "Bukharian community" that we are invloved in our lives so much with work and school. is that mostly for girls than guy's don't seem to "want" or "care" to know how to prepare meals and clean up occaasioanlly not always with there husbands. i see this more often than not, hear that girls want so much from guy's but themselves don't want to know much more besides wanting what is there, I've seen girls who don't know what bahsh is, or other meals that we prepare. Plus they do not want to participate it at a young age to learn how to prepare meals for there future needs, this is why they want to live closer to there families when they get married, so moms can prepare shabbat meals and envite them to the house, girls at a yound age do not put an effort to to learn what is needed from them, i do not gneralize but i speak from experience, that is why they are inclined to live with ashkanazee guy's bec they will hire a mate to do it for them. I speak from expeireince be before every shabbat in my house it's man who clean's up the house, and while sisters are out talking hours on the cell phone or working or otherwise.

we need trastic changes, there are girls who do not wish to learn anything that is expect from them but instead they expect the future husbands to do it for them, i hope i havent insulted anyone, feedbacks are welcome...

Honestly speaking this is one of the reason i don't want a buchi, i think they have control issue (my opinion) they wanna feel like "THE MAN" and have their wives hand and foot on them. Honestly speaking how would u feel if the roles were reversed?
What is so wrong with letting them feel like they are "THE MAN?" eventually you will benefit from it. To be honest, that is one of the reasons that I do want a bucharian man - to feel that you actually have a MAN at you side, and not some baby who is waiting for you to take care of him. To a certain point, control is good :)

This what i cannot stand for the most part in "Bukharian community" that we are invloved in our lives so much with work and school. is that mostly for girls than guy's don't seem to "want" or "care" to know how to prepare meals and clean up occaasioanlly not always with there husbands. i see this more often than not, hear that girls want so much from guy's but themselves don't want to know much more besides wanting what is there, I've seen girls who don't know what bahsh is, or other meals that we prepare. Plus they do not want to participate it at a young age to learn how to prepare meals for there future needs, this is why they want to live closer to there families when they get married, so moms can prepare shabbat meals and envite them to the house, girls at a yound age do not put an effort to to learn what is needed from them, i do not gneralize but i speak from experience, that is why they are inclined to live with ashkanazee guy's bec they will hire a mate to do it for them. I speak from expeireince be before every shabbat in my house it's man who clean's up the house, and while sisters are out talking hours on the cell phone or working or otherwise.

we need trastic changes, there are girls who do not wish to learn anything that is expect from them but instead they expect the future husbands to do it for them, i hope i havent insulted anyone, feedbacks are welcome...

Alik, I'm sorry that this was your experience, but I assure you (girls correct me if I'm wrong) that for the most part girls want to learn, and are very active in their families. Yes...I think there are instances and families where this is not the case, and most is done by guys (or girls's mom), but I'm pretty sure (at least I hope) that those are individual cases only.

Alik, I'm sorry that this was your experience, but I assure you (girls correct me if I'm wrong) that for the most part girls want to learn, and are very active in their families. Yes...I think there are instances and families where this is not the case, and most is done by guys (or girls's mom), but I'm pretty sure (at least I hope) that those are individual cases only.
Of course!!! I would not want anyone medling in my household but me.....Emergency instances excluded...

What is so wrong with letting them feel like they are "THE MAN?" eventually you will benefit from it. To be honest, that is one of the reasons that I do want a bucharian man - to feel that you actually have a MAN at you side, and not some baby who is waiting for you to take care of him. To a certain point, control is good :)

You'll have to excuse Dudette, her grandmother was an Ashkenazi :D. She's got the Eye Squared I syndrome :D.

You'll have to excuse Dudette, her grandmother was an Ashkenazi :D. She's got the Eye Squared I syndrome :D.
LOLOL......you're a bad boy executive :) :innoc08:

What's wrong with wifes being maids? ;)
Very wrong. Many women don't just stay at home they work or go to school also. On top of everything they have to cook and clean and be a "maid" as you say it. Guys don't really appreiciate it. Just keep in mind we are human to and need some relaxation time. Thats when the guy should help out.

Very wrong. Many women don't just stay at home they work or go to school also. On top of everything they have to cook and clean and be a "maid" as you say it. Guys don't really appreiciate it. Just keep in mind we are human to and need some relaxation time. Thats when the guy should help out.

I think I see a pattern. All the new generation youngsters have been spoiled beyond comprehension..

T that is why they are inclined to live with ashkanazee guy's bec they will hire a mate to do it for them.

Actually Ashkenazi guys will be willing to eat Risovaya Kasha for week non-stop without complaining and will flaunt at what good of a cook their wife is :D.

Ashkenazi Monthly Food menu:
1st week: Risovaya Kasha or vareniki (blintzes)
2nd week: Canned gefilte fish from the supermarket then main course of Sosiski (hot dogs)
3rd week: Fried Eggs (maybe fries if they behave)
4th week: Borsht or mushroom soup with crackers

Saturday nights: Vodka, lemon on the side
:party11:

Kiss a@@ i was raised in a bucharian enviroment so wat u just said doesn't have to do w/ anything okay? and u liked this 1/4th ashkenazi or do i have to remind u of u wat said to me!!!

Hmm okayy.. Now in English please without grammar mistakes and NO foul language.. they have a policy on this site about that cup-cake :D.

Very wrong. Many women don't just stay at home they work or go to school also. On top of everything they have to cook and clean and be a "maid" as you say it. Guys don't really appreiciate it. Just keep in mind we are human to and need some relaxation time. Thats when the guy should help out.

So if I promise that I will appreciate if my wife becomes my maid (I will do almost anything she asks me to), does it make it right?

So if I promise that I will appreciate if my wife becomes my maid (I will do almost anything she asks me to), does it make it right?
You are HILERIOUS!!!!! molodetz

"What goes around, comes around."

Treat your wife as a queen, and she's much more likely to treat you as a king.

Make your own conclusions about how she's likely to treat you if you treat your wife as a maid.

"What goes around, comes around."

Treat your wife as queen, and she's much more likely to treat you as a king.

Make your own conclusions about how she's likely to treat you if you treat your wife as a maid.

Jewish women, will take advantage of that my dear friend. Its called "abuse of power". Na golovu vstanut dorogoi. Your right, but to a degree...

Jewish women, will take advantage of that my dear friend. Its called "abuse of power". Na golovu vstanut dorogoi. Your right, but to a degree...
Not all woman. What's wrong w/ treating ur wife as a queeen, she will do more for u.

You are HILERIOUS!!!!! molodetz

I try!!!!! :party11:

I think I see a pattern. All the new generation youngsters have been spoiled beyond comprehension..
Excuse me, so you think that ur wife should do everything and you nothing. My friend if u have such a marriage u won't go far. Your wife won't like it.

Not all woman. What's wrong w/ treating ur wife as a queeen, she will do more for u.
No sweety, he is right. Girls take advantage of that.....

No sweety, he is right. Girls take advantage of that.....
Not all. A wife has to feel like she is important at least in her husbands eyes. A realtionship works both ways.

Not all. A wife has to feel like she is important at least in her husbands eyes. A realtionship works both ways.
Sweety there is a difference between feeling important and being treated like a queen, not many see that difference unfortunatly

Sweety there is a difference between feeling important and being treated like a queen, not many see that difference unfortunatly
So the ones that don't have lost out.

Okay so recently i've come across some very interestng people, mainly guyz who told me that they would want their wives to basically be their maids in the house. They want them to clean, cook and not only do they want the house to clean etc. but they also want their wives to clean after them as well according to them they won't even pick up their plate and put it in the kitchen after eating dinner. i wanted to know how girls feel about these bucharian theories and traditions.

govorit' na mnogo legche chem delat' Just because they say it does not mean that's how its going to be once they get married. (Ofcouse it might also be exactly the way they say.)

besides, its not only bukharian guys. that's what all people wish they had.

I'd like to apologize to dudette regarding my previous comment about her grandmother being ashkenazi, and her having that "eye squared I syndrome".

Dudette please pardon my harsh sense of humor pumpkin ;).

Na golovu vstanut dorogoi...
As bukh's say, boli tepi serat baromada chormagz bolqakati meshikanand
Translation: Oni zalezud na tvoyu golovu i budut orekhi lomatz s molatkom...
A realtionship works both ways.
In our [bukharian] society, we say: qarsaq az du dast meberoyad!
Translation: Golos' khloponya/opladisment s dvukh ruk vekhodit...

Okay so recently i've come across some very interestng people, mainly guyz who told me that they would want their wives to basically be their maids in the house. They want them to clean, cook and not only do they want the house to clean etc. but they also want their wives to clean after them as well according to them they won't even pick up their plate and put it in the kitchen after eating dinner. i wanted to know how girls feel about these bucharian theories and traditions.

kakaya raznitsya shto mi hotim, the main thing is, poluchaem li mi eto???
Tak shto davaite pogovorim, o tom shto mi actualy poluchaem ot togo shto mi hotim... :party15: :party15: :party15:

it shouldnt be like that it should be a good lovable marriage were they help eachother out with everything they need, but if a guy treates his wife like a maid he should go back to russia.