How important is it to have your parents' blessings before you get married? Would you ever get married without it?

How important is it to have your parents' blessings before you get married? Would you ever get married without it?

Before answering on your question, let's understand what Blessing-Bracha is? In my humble understanding Blessing-Bracha is basically an approval of your path that you chose, your future plans etc. by your parents or your guardian. When you have that approval of some it'll be easier to achieve your goals or follow the path you chose. You may ask how? Why is that? Let's take your example with parent blessings before marriage. If G-d forbid you merry someone your parents did not approve, they we'll be always mad at you, they will not like your husband, they will not properly welcome him when you go to their house, and because of that you'll have fights at home and when your parents find out that you had a fight with your husband they're not going to be happy about it, but they will tell you "Tolled you before, that he's not good for you", or something like that. And eventually you'll ether stop going to your parents or you're going to end up divorcing. But if you did get that approval, no one will have to get through that hell. And even though you'll have a fight with your husband about something and your parents found out about it they'll say "It's ok, bez etogo ne bivayet". It's a bit physiological too I think. So, yes, I think it's important to have parent blessings before you get married. And if you're in the situation where your parents do not approve your chosen one, somehow make sure they will before you get married. It's not easy to do, but it's important.

How important is it to have your parents' blessings before you get married? Would you ever get married without it?
I would love to have my parents blessing, of course! Marrige is serious business (you don't need me to tell you that). I would certainly want my parents to be there for me. though, what I think is good for me and what my parents see as ideal for me often don't coincide. I just want to say that every grown individual can maturely resolve this issue. your parent's opinion should definately count, cuz after all they've been there for you or just been there (in some cases), all your life. At the same time their opinion should not supersede or serpass your expectations. Loving parents may or may not agree with your choice, but they will never close the book on you or disown you.
my personal phylosophy: In the heart of a parent children take a special place; as long as that place is occupied we (children) have the parent's blessings.

so how do u know which one is supposed to give in and say that??
lets say u found ur match and have no doubts. ur parents dont like the dude/dudette for some reason. u would give it up just for that? they will destroy the happiness u found. how do u know wen to listen to them and wen not to?

со хоw до у кноw wхич оне ис суппосед то гиве ин анд саы тхат??
летс саы у фоунд ур матч анд хаве но доубтс. ур парентс донт лике тхе дуде/дудетте фор соме реасон. у wоулд гиве ит уп юст фор тхат? тхеы wилл дестроы тхе хаппинесс у фоунд. хоw до у кноw wен то листен то тхем анд wен нот то?
you don't know for sure, based on the cercumstance eather parties (parent/child) makes an educated guess to the best of their ability. what I was trying to say was that children should not neglect to take into account their parent's advice just as parent's should not neglect their children's decisions. To childen i would say, your parents have some good points and it's worth to hear them out. Parents have to understand that althogh children have and obligation to hear you out and listen to your advice they don't have to agree with you. родители должны доветять своим детям и пренать ич выбор. The truth is it's very difficult for parents to be subjective and consider the childs needs alone. Because, often times, raditeli xotyat ispravit' svoee oshipke cherez svoeex detei. That's a big factor that get's in the way. And the most annoying thing is that you can't prove it to them, because they would never admit it. But interms of blessings, I think only in extreme situations the parents don't give their blessings and even then deep inside they really want you to be happy (that in itself is a blessing).

Yes, I personally believe it is very important to be blessed before your wedding takes place. Your parents or guardians have wished you only the best in life, and to finally see that you are going through a rite of passage also plays a crucial role on their behalf: they have done their part in getting you married successfully. Like they say, sahat salomat row :)

I would love to have my parents blessing, of course! Marrige is serious business (you don't need me to tell you that). I would certainly want my parents to be there for me. though, what I think is good for me and what my parents see as ideal for me often don't coincide. I just want to say that every grown individual can maturely resolve this issue. your parent's opinion should definately count, cuz after all they've been there for you or just been there (in some cases), all your life. At the same time their opinion should not supersede or serpass your expectations. Loving parents may or may not agree with your choice, but they will never close the book on you or disown you.
my personal phylosophy: In the heart of a parent children take a special place; as long as that place is occupied we (children) have the parent's blessings.

Is this how you calm yourself down?!? :evilgr39: :happy25:
I don't think it's always true. That special place in the heart of a parent can be empty too, for whatever reason, therefore there's no blessings. Keep it real :happy25: , occupy that special place, and at the same time make sure you get their blessings. I don't think you should assume that if you in the heart of your parent then you're aotomatically have their blessings

Is this how you calm yourself down?!? :evilgr39: :happy25:
I don't think it's always true. That special place in the heart of a parent can be empty too, for whatever reason, therefore there's no blessings. Keep it real :happy25: , occupy that special place, and at the same time make sure you get their blessings. I don't think you should assume that if you in the heart of your parent then you're aotomatically have their blessings
You say it but u don't mean it. I bet u Matrix that there were things your parents may not have agreed with, but #1) it didn't stop u from getting married to the one u love and 2) your parents closed their eyes on certain things for the sake of your happiness. Kol ha Kavod to your parents and to all loving parents. When I say that every child has a special place in a parents heart I am refering to the nature of a parent, which is to nurture their child (especially mother's nature, because she gave birth to you), . Even if you go against everything your parents stand for (not just in choice of partner) your parents will never stop praying for you and you will always be in their minds and hearts. that (i repeat) in itself is a blessing. Ask any parent, "what's your biggest pain?" they will answer "my children." Ask that same parent "what's your greatest pleasure?" and without hesitation they'll answer "my children." You're a father; what would you answer?

p.s. read with discretion. the above is true for normal parents in a typical traditional (if u may) family setting. I'm not talking about extreme cases where by parents throw their child into trash cans or abandon them and then 20 years later claim their right to parenthood... such parents don't deserve to be blessed, let alone give blessings.