Is it still a Bukharian tradtion that when a girl gets married it is important to hold Poitach and Koshcheenon?

Is it still a Bukharian tradtion that when a girl gets married it is important to hold Poitach and Koshcheenon?

Ibi, kaneshno. Odamo gav mekunan.

Is it still a Bukharian tradtion that when a girl gets married it is important to hold Poitach and Koshcheenon?
Good question, many people(families) in our community still keep the traditions of PoiTakht on Shabbat noon followed the wedding. Others, think its to qademi=ancient for them to follow and many times say "We live in Ameriqo, we need to be abit modern..."

As it goes to QoshChinon, tehre are still many(not as much as teh once do it before) girls who wait to do their eyebrows untill getting married. I personaly think girls should wait...


Overall, I think many of us(especily girls) should follow abit of soem of our bukharian traditions such as teh once we are talking about here. I understand we live in a new country and we have to be up to date with everything, but...

Good question, As it goes to QoshChinon...
It reminds of something which happend to one of my female friends.
She looks nice, she attanded a Public High School, at age 18 before graduating HS she decided to do her eyebrows(to look as good as mnay girls her age and be up to date in style) age 15. Her family was against it, but for her graduation(they said "This will be your firs and teh last time doing it before time to go khoniSho'... " they let her do it~for her to look nice.
She went to college, everything was going well the first semester, bu the seond semester she felt like she is behind many things and first thing she did is went and did her eyebrows... her parants were shocked!
Time passed, she started dating, time came to get married. The wedding date was set, his family said tehy want to have a qoshchinon a week before teh wedding(even though she has done it)... What my friend did was for 5months she grew her eyebrows just to make her parats happy which was very stupid of her... :fight56:
Thts a short shory of my friends experience...

Ibi, kaneshno. Odamo gav mekunan.


een chiso ba odomo mekuni chi? :)

Good question, many people(families) in our community still keep the traditions of PoiTakht on Shabbat noon followed the wedding. Others, think its to qademi=ancient for them to follow and many times say "We live in Ameriqo, we need to be abit modern..."

As it goes to QoshChinon, tehre are still many(not as much as teh once do it before) girls who wait to do their eyebrows untill getting married. I personaly think girls should wait...


Overall, I think many of us(especily girls) should follow abit of soem of our bukharian traditions such as teh once we are talking about here. I understand we live in a new country and we have to be up to date with everything, but...



I personally believe she should grow them too and not pluck them. But some girls believe they need to do it becuz they have too much of eyebrows. They don't want a unibrow or for them to be too thick.

plus a girl is lucky if she doesnt need to get it done....ahem ahem

Is it still a Bukharian tradtion that when a girl gets married it is important to hold Poitach and Koshcheenon?

I'm not sure how relevant it is to do koshcheenon at this time, but Poitach I think must be done.
From what i understand it is done by husband's mother for her new bride. As an indication that her new bride was a virgin on the first night with her(svekrov') son. In other words she is thankful and celebrating girl's virginity. I also believe that is when previously she would show and pass around the "prostan' s krov'u" to show to all the present ladies the proof of girl's virginity.

So, I don't know about anyone else, but I still want my future mother in law to throw this party for me.
"She betta, or else ":fight56:

I'm not sure how relevant it is to do koshcheenon at this time, but Poitach I think must be done.
From what i understand it is done by husband's mother for her new bride. As an indication that her new bride was a virgin on the first night with her(svekrov') son. In other words she is thankful and celebrating girl's virginity. I also believe that is when previously she would show and pass around the "prostan' s krov'u" to show to all the present ladies the proof of girl's virginity.

So, I don't know about anyone else, but I still want my future mother in law to throw this party for me.
"She betta, or else ":fight56:

Or else ты её по попке ата-та зделаешь? oy vey.

I personally believe she should grow them too and not pluck them. But some girls believe they need to do it becuz they have too much of eyebrows. They don't want a unibrow or for them to be too thick.
oh well...

Боже мой. Как всё запусчено и средневековьем попахивает. Что самое печальное что некоторые фанатики из глубинки до сих пор ето делают. :mad54:

У меня даже в голове не укладывается как наши предки такое вытворяли. В кругу семьи есчо както можно понять, но чтобы всем родственникам рассказыват про такие интимные детали ето надо не имет не стыда не совести. :mad54:

Боже мой. Как всё запусчено и средневековьем попахивает. Что самое печальное что некоторые фанатики из глубинки до сих пор ето делают. :mad54:

У меня даже в голове не укладывается как наши предки такое вытворяли. В кругу семьи есчо както можно понять, но чтобы всем родственникам рассказыват про такие интимные детали ето надо не имет не стыда не совести. :mad54:

tell me where have you lived most of your life and for how long? You seem to have interesting views about more than one aspect of Bukharian culture. I'm trying to understand where are you comming from with you way of thinking.

tell me where have you lived most of your life and for how long? You seem to have interesting views about more than one aspect of Bukharian culture. I'm trying to understand where are you comming from with you way of thinking.

Tssipa, it doesn't matter what part of Central Asia he lived at.
Showing blood on a bed sheet during a celebration is a barbaric ritual.
Thank God, this tradition is not practiced any longer.

Tssipa, it doesn't matter what part of Central Asia he lived at.
Showing blood on a bed sheet during a celebration is a barbaric ritual.
Thank God, this tradition is not practiced any longer.


If you would know the reason of why this tradition was or is practiced, then I think you'd choose your words properly. Be kind, show some interest, ask your mother or your grandmother why was this tradition practiced in bukharian communities.

tell me where have you lived most of your life and for how long? You seem to have interesting views about more than one aspect of Bukharian culture. I'm trying to understand where are you comming from with you way of thinking.
Not that it matters, but half of my life I spent in Tashkent. Until recently, I just blindly accepted whatever rituals I knew bukharians practiced. However, living here made me realize that bukharian culture, which is predominatly a product of cultural influences of the people they came in contact with, particularly muslims and russians, is in contradiction with many Jewish values. I asked rabbis a number of times about particular bukharian ritual and each time he told me that it was against Jewish laws. That's something to think about instead of blindly accepting what you are told by your "elders". :sign63:

Matrix,

Valuing virginity is one thing, showing off a bedsheet with blood to a bunch of people outside of the family is totally retarded.

showing off a bedsheet with blood to a bunch of people outside of the family is totally retarded.

no I am not promoting/supporting this behavior, it is complete invasion of privacy.

I'm not sure how relevant it is to do koshcheenon at this time, but Poitach I think must be done.
From what i understand it is done by husband's mother for her new bride. As an indication that her new bride was a virgin on the first night with her(svekrov') son. In other words she is thankful and celebrating girl's virginity. I also believe that is when previously she would show and pass around the "prostan' s krov'u" to show to all the present ladies the proof of girl's virginity.

So, I don't know about anyone else, but I still want my future mother in law to throw this party for me.
"She betta, or else ":fight56:

where is the tzniut?

where is the tzniut?

what is that?

If you would know the reason of why this tradition was or is practiced, then I think you'd choose your words properly. Be kind, show some interest, ask your mother or your grandmother why was this tradition practiced in bukharian communities.


It was not only practiced on Bukharian communities...but other cultures have also encompassed this ritual

no I am not promoting/supporting this behavior, it is complete invasion of privacy.

I agree whole-heartedly :happy25:

Matrix,

Valuing virginity is one thing, showing off a bedsheet with blood to a bunch of people outside of the family is totally retarded.

I'm not supporting this tradition, I just said that there are reasons why bukharians in previous generations practiced this tradition.

I'm not supporting this tradition, I just said that there are reasons why bukharians in previous generations practiced this tradition.

All traditions have meaning.
I believe -- they wanted to show off among their guests that their bride was a virgin.

All traditions have meaning.
I believe -- they wanted to show off among their guests that their bride was a virgin.

I don't thik that this was the reason. From what I know our previous generations were very humble people, so I don't think they were doing this just to show off. :bonk:

I don't thik that this was the reason. From what I know our previous generations were very humble people, so I don't think they were doing this just to show off. :bonk:

Humble jews?!!!

so then what changed them?

Humble jews?!!!

so then what changed them?


I think time, society, maybe some other factors, but thats not the issue over here.

I don't thik that this was the reason. From what I know our previous generations were very humble people, so I don't think they were doing this just to show off. :bonk:
I highly doubt that it was humbleness that brought them to preform such an intrusive and rediculous ritual. It is more plausable to assume that it was cultural assimilation that brought about this practice. If it was not assimilation, but fear of premeriatal sex becoming a common practice, I still think such practices should have been limmited to parents only if not the husband himself. In "extreme cases" where a curious mother-in-law is involved she can privately find out from her son (and has the right to do so in my opinion). but to make it a public knowledge...

As OceonOfMemories put it, "where's the tzniut?"

I'm not sure how relevant it is to do koshcheenon at this time, but Poitach I think must be done.
From what i understand it is done by husband's mother for her new bride. As an indication that her new bride was a virgin on the first night with her(svekrov') son. In other words she is thankful and celebrating girl's virginity. I also believe that is when previously she would show and pass around the "prostan' s krov'u" to show to all the present ladies the proof of girl's virginity.

So, I don't know about anyone else, but I still want my future mother in law to throw this party for me.
"She betta, or else ":fight56:


You want your future mother-in-law to pass around the sheet with your blood on it so that all the ladies will know you were a virgin? Don't you think it is a little degrading? Shouldn't it be enough that your husband is still married to you after the first night, meaning that he is satisfied that you were a virgin?
And secondly, not everybody has sex right after the wedding. What if a girl is in niddah? What's the point of the "my daughter-in-law was a virgin but now that my son got his hands on her she's not any longer" if there was no intimacy before the shabbat? Not to mention that a couple's private life should really remain private.